All the Feels…

Today I felt really down, and I had to write it out. I just had to.

I’m so done with the endless motivational speakers saying that when you are manifesting, you should never speak what you truly feel because it could “block your blessings” or “shift your vibration.” For me, that sort of thinking has never made sense.

It’s hard for me to believe that the same Universe that created me, Mother Earth, and these beautiful planets, would throw away years of my healing, my growth, and my inner work simply because I needed to express what was sitting on my heart. That kind of thinking doesn’t feel real to me. It’s like the only focus is the law of attraction and not the healing or releasing.

We’re both the dark and the light.

We came here to be human…

I want prosperity, yes but I also want my humanity. I want to be a whole human who feels, loves, and empathizes with myself and others. What kind of Universe would create humans with the capacity for love and empathy yet not hold those same qualities itself?

I understand that the law of attraction is just that, a law, much like gravity. But within the process of manifesting, where do we place our truth? Where do we put the raw feelings, the real ones that ache?

Lately, the manifesting movement on social media has made me feel uneasy. It sometimes feels as though we have lost our beautiful humanness.

We’ve accumulated our manifestations devoid of the ability to feel what others are going through. We’ve become callous to the pain of others and we simply advise.

Social Media Fix

We’ve become a society that moves quickly to fix…

It is so important to acknowledge what people are going through and to simply say, “I understand.” We don’t have to fully agree with someone who feels their life is hard, but we can still say, “I see you.”

Have we become a society that moves too quickly to fix, leaving little room to feel? It’s perplexing given the fact that our feelings are the very fuel for manifestation. If we cannot sit with someone and allow their feelings to flow, and all we have for them is advice, we risk them becoming emotionally constipated because they end up holding everything in when what they really need is to release.

Empathy is the first step to healing. Speak your truth fully, then the key is to let it go.

Okay so back to my journaling. I wrote about how the silence lately has brought me fear. How not knowing what is next has been painful. Usually by now, Spirit would have given me a breadcrumb, a sign, a whisper of what is coming. But this silence has felt hurtful, almost like a quiet that echoes too loudly. Humans are not built for relationships that lack communication, and I suppose the same is true for my relationship with the Divine. So this silence is not it.  Or maybe I should be looking for another form of communication? Or sitting in the silence with content? Anywho.

Release…

I cried. Then I went for a walk.

While walking, I realized maybe it is time to let things go. I am not even sure what those things were, but they felt like goals or attachments to the outcome of my manifestations. Or maybe the need to control the route that my manifestations take. I decided not to hold on so tightly to what might happen because, in truth, I have always been okay. Every single time.

That thought lifted something from my shoulders. I walked lighter, freer, with a little more peace in my step.

I remembered that every time I have manifested something I truly wanted, I never forced it. I simply admired it, thought about it, imagined it, and then lived my life.

So that is what I will do now moving forward. Live my life and allow.

If I get it right, wonderful. If not, I will try again. Isn’t that what life is about? But what I’m not going to do is sit in fear wondering if Spirit will show up for me, or if I am saying the right words, or if I am “blocking my blessings.” That kind of self-scrutiny is utterly exhausting.

I have realized that I have been my own observer, standing over myself with a microscope. Without grace for myself. However, now I’m come to know that true manifestation happens when I am in my joy. When I am in my flow. When I am simply in my being.

So that’s my plan. To live. To feel. To trust. And to mop these floors while I am at it. Something’s gotta give. Something’s going to give.